Understanding Your Vegetarian Friends in 8 Steps

Vegetarians are people too.

Ok.. so technically, I'm a pescaratian (I still eat fish,) because I couldn't give up sushi, and because I don't really think fish have feelings. But I almost always have a pet fish to try to make up for these fish eating indiscretions.. I think I still lose karmically in the end and I hereby formally apologize to Nemo and all subsequent fish friends..

But I digress..

 I think I can speak for many of us when I make these claims:

1) WE ARE VEGHEADS FOR A DAMN GOOD REASON

When you ask why we're vegetarians, we will have a VERY good reason. Frankly, there are a lot of compelling arguments for it, and chances are, we've done our research so we can answer this question wisely. And so we can rebut the very annoying people who come at us with ridiculous objections, which brings me to 2..

2) NO ONE IS TRYING TO CONVERT YOU

JUST BECAUSE WE TELL YOU OUR GOOD REASON DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE TO GET DEFENSIVE. Ain't no one tryna convert you friend. You don't have to say "but bacon is delicious," or "I'm gonna eat two cows for every cow you don't eat." Just be cool, we're trying to make a difference in our own way here. Nod and ignore us, it's fine. I really don't want to debate this anymore, I just want to go about my life and eat my clearly less delicious veggie burger in peace.  

3) WE REALLY ARE SORRY FOR THE INCONVENIENCE

  We feel JUST as bad when we come to your house and you had to make special accommodations for us. Seriously, I didn't mean to be a jerk I just didn't want to feast on some carcass of a pig. If you have enough sides I'm gonna fill up on those and say nothing, just so I  don't have to bother you.. Broccoli has become my best friend anyway, we're good with each other, we've talked to one another late into the night about our struggles and triumphs. It's cool.

4)  NOT ALL OF US ARE HEALTHY.. TAKE MYSELF FOR INSTANCE

I don't like salad, ok! My three main food groups are pasta, cheese, and chocolate. This obviously doesn't apply to everyone, but don't assume I'm healthy just because I'm not guzzling dead cows and chickens. I actually have a mostly carb diet... Life is a work in progress right?

5)  VEGETARIAN VERSE VEGAN

Vegetarians: chicken, beef, pork, fish, lamb, ACTUAL ANIMAL..

  Vegans: milk, cheese, eggs, BYPRODUCTS  

^ God bless anyone who is capable of giving up cheese.

6) MEAT DOESN'T EVEN APPEAL TO ME ANYMORE

I've gotten real used to a stomach without it, I'd probably get sick if I tried it (proven) and at this point I have genuinely forgotten that I'm a veg. (It's been 6 years for me) When I go to restaurants, my eyes just naturally go to the pasta section. Occasionally, do I see a burger on television that I want to bite my highly reformed teeth into? Do I get intoxicated once in a while and threaten to eat all of the Chinese orange chicken available to the East Coast? Yes, I do. But I don't mean it, not really.

7) DON'T SNEAK MEAT INTO STUFF THAT DOESN'T USUALLY HAVE IT! IF YOU DO, LABEL IT.

I'm looking at you, University of Maryland Orientation lasagna. My poor pre-freshman tummy was NOT expecting that and it was NOT cool! 

8) TO BE HONEST, WE DO FEEL JUST A LIIITTLE BIT BETTER THAN YOU BECAUSE WE HAVE AWESOME SELF CONTROL

But we know logically that we aren't.. I swear.... 

That's It: Part 1

Due to the ridiculous nature of my every day life, I've decided to write a series of vignettes detailing the smaller moments that result in absolutely nothing but a small story. These delightfully weird interactions happen, and really, that's it. Enjoy

It was 3AM. The pizza had helped sober me up, just enough so I could feel the cold of the night.
Also I was soaked. And barefoot.
I had just come from a "foam party." There, friends and I had been thrown into a baby pool of the glorified dish soap. It had been in our eyes, hair, everywhere. At some point, my shoes had been lost in the sea of white. With some remorse, I let the Target flip flops go.

It sounds about as ridiculous as it was, and as a senior, I was already tired of the whole college party theme scene. How many times can you do CEO's and Corporate Hoe's, Yoga Hoe's and Lax Bro's, any possible play on the word Hoe or Bro, you wonder? Many, many times. It's probably time to graduate.

I walked back to my apartment with my roommates. Just outside my complex, walking through our parking lot, a guy on a balcony from the 3rd floor called to me, "Hey." He was with two others, laughing.
Probably presuming he was messing with a drunken, soaked, barefoot idiot, I knew what he was up to. To be fair, I was a lot of those things.
"Hey," I called back.
"Where are you?" he asked. His face was a blur, as he was in the shadows and lets face it, I was somewhat tipsy still.
Where am I? He couldn't mean that literally, clearly I was here..
"Do you mean like, in life?" I asked him.
"Yeah, where are you?" he asked again, chuckling.
My roommates, used to my spontaneity, walked right into our building without me. It was too cold to wait, and I was just at the door, they knew I'd be safe.

"Do you mean existentially?" I pressed to the balcony boy.
"Sure" he responded, amused. He and his friends laughed more.
"Well.. I'm really just trying to find meaning like everyone else, you know, what am I? Will I ever make a difference? Maybe I'll knock some squirrel in a different direction and he'll plant some seed that will be the only tree left on earth and that's how future aliens will evaluate the world we lived in. Or maybe I'm just an ant." I said it half for shock value and half because hey, that's where I am. He asked.

He and his friends got quiet. Not expecting that from a drunk college "hoe" were ya?
"It's been fun guys. But I'm freezing my ass off," I started to walk away.
"...Yo.. do you like Carl Sagan?" one balcony boy asked.
"I do!" I called back without looking.
As I opened the main door of the apartment, I heard one say, "Well that was some heavy shit."

I got to my room, hung up my soap-drenched clothing, took a quick shower, and went to bed.

A Poem for Emily

The following is an homage I wrote in honor of my favorite poem, Emily Dickinson's "I Dwell in Possibility."
I wrote it three years ago, and have been editing and coming back to it ever since. I hate writing poetry, because everyone I know loves to write poetry but hates to read it, so I often find it pointless. But we can make exceptions, right?

Where to Begin

Where to begin--

When divulging ones soul--

Seeking to create merely a Spark

In a world fueled by Fire--

Noted or not

Our Leaves sway in time--

We dance about the Day

As Roots curl from Creation--

Mundane habits

Sprung from such starts

The white of the Page

My Sprout--

Where do we dwell-- 

Nowhere but possibilities,

Dancing by the Fire

Swaying with the Trees

To Share or Not to Share?

If you don't Tweet, Insta, or upload a moment to Facebook, did it really happen?

 As this baby of a blog begins, I find myself questioning the merits of sharing it on one of the many social media platforms.

Recently, a friend and I were discussing the urgency our generation feels to post our accomplishments. He was saying that he got accepted to a program in Europe for the summer. His first instinct was to post about it, make some status that would easily garner upwards of 100 likes. Instead, he told me, he decided to just be happy for himself and his achievement. Sadly, I was impressed.

Why is there this need to share the big moments with everyone we know? After you see someone else's status or Tweet, do you ever really give it much thought? Do you sit and think "Wow, I'm just so happy that Erica has the opportunity to study and drink her face off for a semester in Barcelona?" So why presume that others are thinking of you? Is this "like" phenomenon just another form of self-importance?

 I may gag when I see an engagement or that yet another friend of mine has gained employment, but sure, I'll like the status anyway. That like is instant gratification for us. A sense of connection to our community, a way for us to show "support" and feel "supported" with the click of a button.

But I think at the end of the day, you just have to hope that some people really do care, or that perhaps even a few will be inspired by your achievements. We're all pretty self-obsessed, but if it only takes one more like to make your friend feel appreciated, what's the harm?

So yes, I will share this blog, but not for the likes.
Although a few likes once in a while wouldn't hurt...

A Beginning

Hi there.
So.. I'm Alex, a second semester Senior. 
Why yes, I am about to graduate. 
Do I know what I'm doing next year? Ha. No, no I don't. Funny you should ask.
My major? English. 
Yep.
Nope, don't want to be a teacher.
Yeah, lawyer doesn't sound too appealing either..
A writer you say? well...

As I figure out what I want to be when I grow up (wait I'm practically grown up already?! F*ck!) I keep coming back to this. Whenever I tell my mother how I wish I could just be a writer and accept poverty for the first 10 plus years of my career she always says,

 "Well Alex, in order to be a writer, you have to write."

And the woman makes a good point.
Written material is definitely the first indication of a writer. You go Mom.

I recently read in a forward by Joyce Carol Oates; "If.. you have a natural talent for writing and a love of the imagination, you risk a lifelong deprivation if you fail to cultivate it as vigorously as you can." 

So it turns out, no matter where I end up in life, I'll be screwed if I don't give this a shot anyway. We're all screwed, writer friends. Unless we do something about this writeryness inside.

I've taken three creative writing workshops so yes, I have "written." But only for a deadline. School has taught all of us to perform, even creatively, for a grade. While this blog is no Great American Novel, it will belong solely to me, and will be judged solely by myself ...and my peers. But you guys will be kind, right?

There will be posts that sound far fetched, idiotic, vulnerable, and silly. There will be posts I reflect on with embarrassment and posts that speak to my inner core as a human that I wish to share with the world 40 times over. Most importantly they will be proof that I, Alex Huss, am a writer who writes. A writer who will attempt to "cultivate it as vigorously" as possible.

 I hope you join me on this journey!